Stepping Out of Fiction

From time to time I will watch a good drama with my wife and over our time being married we have seen some really good ones. In these dramas the directors, actors, editors, and music composers all do a really good job provoking some real deep emotions. And by the end of many of these movies it is not uncommon for my wife to be in some real serious tears. It is as if she really felt the pain of loss and expressed a compassion towards the main character as if the main character was a real friend. I am confident that we have all been there.

Often we will talk about the movie, its highs and lows, likes and dislikes, and even about why we respond the way we do, I began to wonder what is it about a good drama that can evoke such deep emotional responses?

I believe it is because what the fictional characters are going through are so relatable that we can picture ourselves or a loved one going through what the character is going through. Or sympathize with the characters or wish things to be different for them, especially if the character is likable and noble and “deserves better”.

Another thing is there is a “getting to know you ” phase of the movie where we watch and relate and build a connection with the characters to the point where it’s much more than just a character on screen but a person’s life that we take an emotional interest in. So it feels like we become somewhat related to the character.

I believe this to be a good thing in the respect that it shows us that, if we allow our imagination to go there, that we feel the deep sorrows vicariously through the life of another, even if its not real. That’s one thing that I love about my wife. It shows her sensitivity and sentiment.

But it is also can be a bad thing and a very dangerous thing because it seems easier to be moved by a fictional story more than by the reality that surrounds us.

I have seen women who will weep when a little kid dies in a movie but at the same time stand for the killing of the unborn. I have seen men yell at the tv but yet turn a blind eye at a woman who is being abused.

I have been guilty with many of my friends to pass up seeing a real life documentary about babies being abandoned on the streets of South Korea, or the desperate plea to stop sex trafficking, or the horrid that happens in abortion clinics, all for a movie that is more entertaining and more “relatable”.

Why do we do this?

I believe this is because what’s happening in the world is not that personal to us. It doesn’t directly affect what we are doing on a daily basis. Also I think that there is a disconnect because we are not “watching” those who are undergoing such trials and pains. Our natural instinct is to turn away. We tend to shy away from the hurt and pain because it is too much for us to bear or too uncomfortable so we flee to avoid.

But when we look into the Scriptures we are confronted with a different reality. We are confronted that our natural instincts need to be trained by the Scriptures so that we can discern what’s real and what’s fiction. And we need to lean into what’s real way more than we lean on what’s fiction.

It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
Because that is the end of every man,
And the living takes it to heart.

Ecclesiasties 7:2

I have always been mesmerized by this verse because it goes against my very instinct to want to be in a place where there is happiness and joy and not sorrow and pain. But God says through the words of Solomon that it is better to be with the mourning and not those who are celebrating.

And the reason; this is all of our destinations, whether we see it or believe it, this is where we will all end up at a certain point. For many of us our house has been the house of mourning and we have seen others that we love be in the house of the mourning. But that’s personal.

There is a world filled with those whose realities are the house of the mourning. And I believe that it is better to be there than to be celebrating in fiction because God takes a particular notice and care for the hurting.

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

James 1:27

This verse really is striking because of the phrase in their distress. Our religion, to be pure and undefiled, is to visit in their distress. When was the last time that you went out of your way to visit someone in their distress?

When I was an Associate Pastor at my previous church, one of my responsibilities was to visit those who were in the hospital. When I first began doing that I had to beg the Lord to fill up what was lacking in my love for people because it was extremely uncomfortable for me. “What will I say?” “How can I encourage them?” “What if I say the wrong thing?”

When I was face to face with someone who was on the edge of eternity I needed much more than, “Its all going to be ok.” I needed God. I needed to love with the Scriptures. As I saw more and more people in the hospital and tasted of their realities, God began shaping my heart to be more bold and compassionate and less concerned with my comforts. He helped me be a source of biblical encouragement to those who were suffering.

No greater joy have I had than being in the house of the mourning. I believe it is in those times that we are most like our Savior who came to us in our darkest place. He didn’t come in a bed of daisies He came into a sin cursed world and experienced the same sufferings as we do and on top of it He suffered in order to deliver us from consequence of sin and then sent us a great Comforter.

If you have never gone into the house of the mourning with an intention to be a source of biblical encouragement, praying for God to use His word from your lips to comfort the hurting, I challenge you to step away from the fictional movies and step into the reality of suffering with those who are currently suffering.

Give up yourself and take on someone else, be an imitator of God and love beyond your comforts. Let yourself feel the pain of others without holding back, mourn with those who mourn, weep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice, and bear the burdens of one another.